If Only In My Dreams
by SammehIsTehSecks
Summary: So this is what his life had come to. Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands mourning over a human.


**A/N: **A bit of a tear-jerker I warn you. It made me tear up, tremble and sigh heavily while I was writing it because I write as I go while I listen to a song.

I really hope you enjoy it and you don't cry--too much!

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So this is what his life had come to.

Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands mourning over a human.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now _

Not just any human, his Kagome. His brother had long since dropped his claim on the woman, but not without much fight and tears on Kagome's part. They had had only a few months..only a few precious months..He felt a peculiar feeling on his person, on his face to be exact. He raised a shaking hand to his cheek.

Liquid.

_And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight _

He raised it to his mouth and licked it away, a salty substance it was.._his tears_. The tears fell freely but not once did he make a sound, his hand would tremble every so often but he stood tall, facing his lands with unreadable golden orbs as he cried for his Kagome.

How he missed her..

He missed everything about her, her scent, her smile, her determination, the way she loved Rin.

Rin, he choked back a sob.

That was eras ago, everyone was gone! And it wasn't fair..just dammit wasn't fair.

How the other demons would laugh, the great Sesshoumaru crying.

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken__  
I just want you to know who I am _

His lands were soon dwindling with the ever growing population of humans whilst the demon population fell. Yes, as he had stubbornly pushed aside the thought of this ever happening it was.

And it broke this Sesshoumaru's heart.

He had watched as everything he knew, everything he called home had disappeared, including his Kagome. Her companions that he had loosely called his friends. They had long since had children, aged and passed on. Along with his brother, even though he was half-demon he was also half human and each life space of a hanyou depended on the hanyou itself, his brother had died too young he felt.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive _

So here he was crying silently as he watched his world change.

How he longed for some familiarity, some familiarity to anything..a scent. Yes, maybe a scent would do.

Right about now anything would do.

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am _

Years passed after that day and Sesshoumaru had aged, barely.

It was such a curse to have such immense power; power he had fought his whole life for, trained and based standard upon now he wished to be done with.

He trembled and felt such utter desperation to be free of the hell he now called his life, why had she come along with her happy go lucky self. Why did she have to teach him the great feeling of smelling a rose..why did she teach him what it felt like to be _loved_ only to be torn away from him by the damned Shikon no Tama.

He remembered that day oh so clearly, how the slayer had walked to the disappearing form of Kagome her hand passing through her as the last of his love fizzled away, how her brown eyes had widened unnaturally as she fell to her knees, and sobbed, her long ponytail flailing as she dug unmercifully into the ground searching for what they all knew was gone.

How the monk had slowly walked over to the tired woman and cradled her in his arms as his own tears fell into her hair, how..the kit just sat there under the tree Kagome had put him in for safety just moments before staring at the place she was at last.

And Inuyasha, his heart wrenched as he thought about his brother. His brother's reaction to her dissapearance had nearly killed him on the spot. There his brother was on his knees, his claws digging into the dirt as he clenched his fist; his entire frame shaking as his tears pelted the ground.

And what was this Sesshoumaru doing during all of this you ask?

Sesshoumaru just stood and stared, for Sesshoumaru didn't believe what had just happened..she..couldn't have gone and left him.

Unnoticed by anyone his hands shook..trembling you could say as he watched on.

Yes, one could say.

That day Sesshoumaru was forever broken..along with the people Kagome had left behind.

It was from that day on that he vowed he'd see her again, somehow..someway, if only in his dreams. He'd see Kagome again.

_I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am _

I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am

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**A/N: **Hehe, it's all done.

Or is it!

So, if you want Sesshoumaru to see Kagome again. Tell me!


End file.
